Welcome to my home!
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I AM A FAN
That’s awesome! I appreciate all the support I can get in this world of crushed dreams. Please take a moment to follow me on social media (top right) and let me know if there’s somewhere in your town you would love to see me perform.
I AM A COMEDY BOOKER
Thank God! I have been trying to get you to notice me for ages. Not in that desperate, drunk dude on Tinder at 3 AM kinda way. More like that, hey, what’s up, didn’t see you standing there (but really did see you standing there) kinda way. Shoot me a message if you’d like to have me at your show. Unless it’s one of those shows where you ask me to buy 20 tickets first, sell them, then you and I make money off ticket sales and blah blah blah. Don’t fret – there are plenty of newbie comics who would totally be up for that.
I AM A POTENTIAL FAN
Hey, almost as good as the first one, maybe better because your support comes with a hint of skepticism on my talents or overall likeability. I suggest you browse the site, toss it over for a few nights over a nice Chianti, and make an educated decision whether or not this relationship is worth your investment. I’ll be here waiting.
I AM A CASTING DIRECTOR
Holy Crap! You mean you guys still look at postcards these days? That was 70 bucks well spent. Parts I am great for are: kooky best friend, waiter who accidentally drops a drink on a lady, guy in the Hallmark movie who the girl returning to her small town falls in love with, the cool Spanish teacher that all the middle-schoolers go to when they have problems, the victim who turns out to be the bad guy, struggling Hollywood entertainer who can’t seem to find a solid relationship and is constantly contemplating getting a dog so someone will love him…wait…
I AM A STALKER
YES! I’ve made it. No, I won’t respond to you at all via any outlet, but know that you are appreciated.
I AM MIKEY’S MOM
Mom, I’ve told you about this. You’re not going to like 70% of the content I post, so while I do appreciate your support, you can go back to figuring out how that Netflix thing works.
Whoever you are, have fun!
Love and puppies,
(Below are a few credits you had no idea I worked on, but now you’re all, wow, this guy might be funny. Or at least persistent.)