Don’t judge a book by it’s…shoes?

This past week I have been checked out EVERY time I’ve worked out. Like stared down. At the Gym. At Bootcamp. At Runyon Canyon. Kathy Griffin strolled right past us on that more-social-than-struggle of a mountain, but everyone was looking at me. And I got to say those words I’ve always wanted to say.

“Hey! My eyes are up here!”

Ok, maybe I only thought it. If someone yelled that at you at Runyon, even in Hollywood, without actually being in a conversation, you would think he was well on his way to being that guy wearing a wedding dress and singing angry girl music on the bus. (By the way, I didn’t make that up…that actually happened).


It wasn’t my glowing personality that brought the attraction. It was my glowing shoes. Yes, I donned some fluorescent orange Adidas in my last few exercise endeavors. My friends are used to seeing me make poor wardrobe choices, so while this one drew more remarks than usual, they understood that, well, “She’s just being Mikey.

That was a reference to a Miley Cyrus song. I loved her. Then I waited on her and made a joke about how I wouldn’t buy anther song until she fixed her busted up iphone. Then she tipped me bad. Real bad. She’s wasn’t just being Miley. She was being a bitch.

What started my head churning was, What are the strangers thinking who are staring at my feet as if I wore a swan dress to the gym? Were they making judgments? I mean, the people of Hollywood don’t make judgments often, do they?

So what judgments do these shoes give the unknowing passerby?

  1. He’s dying for attention. (Ok…maybe true…)
  2. His mom sent them to him.
  3. He doesn’t realize he’s over thirty.
  4. He thinks he might be more…ethnic…than he is.
  5. He knows something about these shoes that the rest of us don’t…some orthopedic shit?

How would you judge someone like me wearing something like this? And would it be accurate or even fair? Accurate? Probably not. Fair? Absolutely. Because, no matter what the reason, if you’re wearing a big “LOOK AT ME STICKER!” then you are asking for judgment, and you should accept it and enjoy the fact that others have broken up their thoughts of wondering who commented on their gym check-in to notice and think of you.

And, for the record, I will continue to wear these shoes. Because I am an attention WHORE.

love and miley,

Mikey

 

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