I think as certain things in the world increasingly aggravate me, my role in changing them will be to bitch about them here. Please feel free to email me suggestions for future “5 douchey things” posts.
Listing these does not at all say I am completely innocent of these, and should you choose to not hang out with me because you’ve witnessed me doing one or more of them, I will applaud your conviction and hold no grudges.
In my stand-up routine I often complain of the eons it has been since I last had sex. Unless, of course, I have sex. Then I must wait a few weeks until the complaints can be reintroduced. That’s not true. I’ll actually still complain the next day because it makes for good material. Unless I actually threw my legs in the air for someone in the audience that night (has happened), they are none the wiser.