I’m going to completely blow your mind right now. I never had a drink until after I graduated high school. I didn’t go to too many parties with my high school friends. Rather I spent many a weekend chumming around with my fellow apprentices at the community theatre. Yep. We were badass.
Right before graduation I went to a bonfire thrown by a buddy in my class. Everyone was going to be there. He had thrown one prior that was legendary. It was talked about for months later with a “fest” in the title. Anytime there’s a -fest, you now it’s good. Or –palooza. That’s a good one, too. Perhaps I should rename my blog “Mikeypalooza.
I started going up the hill to this bonfire when a couple of drunk juniors stumbled into my path.
“Doood-au-yu-dlimying?” said the girl who could barely hold her head up. I get it. Heads are heavy.
“Dooood-au-yu-dlimking?” she asked again. This time the male counterpart who was holding her up chimed in.
“Nah, man! This is that CMTV guy! He ain’t gonna drink!” Then they walked away.
I stood there appalled! I had contemplated what I would do when someone offered me a drink that night. Would I agree and then slowly pour it out on the ground? Would I go make a drink that looked like alcohol but wasn’t? Or would I give my, ‘I don’t drink, and I’m proud of it because I am an individual’ speech? (Yes, I had prepared one).
All of a sudden these careful calculations didn’t matter! Why? Because I was a lead anchor on the morning announcement station, otherwise known as CMTV. I read where the Community Service Club meetings were to be held on any given Thursday, so I couldn’t possibly be going crazy at a party. I guess it didn’t help that I was also president of said community service club.
So I have dedicated the rest of my life to being a bad boy. The bad boy gets the girl, right? Er….guy?
But no matter how many pinot grigios I drink or how often I wake up in jail, I still feel like the guy who’s cute but not really bad. The guy who can’t hop on his Harley right now because he has to go read the morning announcements.
What do you think…maybe I need a tattoo?
love and morning announcements,