In my stand-up routine I often complain of the eons it has been since I last had sex. Unless, of course, I have sex. Then I must wait a few weeks until the complaints can be reintroduced. That’s not true. I’ll actually still complain the next day because it makes for good material. Unless I actually threw my legs in the air for someone in the audience that night (has happened), they are none the wiser. Read more
I’ve been doing comedy for a while now. I’m not going to tell you how long because then you’re brain will go, “Wow, Mikey. That long and still not a celebrity?” So I’m doing you a favor because I wouldn’t want you to have a black heart on Black Friday, while you read this waiting in line to get 40% off a digital camera. Let’s just say, I’ve been doing it a while. And yes, I still love it. Read more
While I haven’t kept it a secret, I also haven’t written much about the fact that in January this year, I got a DUI. Yep, that happened. Not one of my finer moments by far. At the same time, it’s a non-fine moment that unfortunately many people share. Read more
This past week I have been checked out EVERY time I’ve worked out. Like stared down. At the Gym. At Bootcamp. At Runyon Canyon. Kathy Griffin strolled right past us on that more-social-than-struggle of a mountain, but everyone was looking at me. And I got to say those words I’ve always wanted to say.
“Hey! My eyes are up here!” Read more
Last night a boy gave me his digits. I like to say “digits.” It makes me sound hip. Young. When my niece and nephew lived with me I caught on to all the cool new lingo. When my nephew was moving back here from Italy, I needed his full name for something. I asked him. He said, “I’m on the grid as Christopher.” Read more
